


Some Children Can't Spell Santa

by GlitterSkullFairy



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Crack, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, post 5A
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28298829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterSkullFairy/pseuds/GlitterSkullFairy
Summary: "I'm quite happy to join you on Christmas day.  Greed, materialism, gluttony- there's plenty to enjoy about Christmas.  No, it's just that I have a prior engagement for Christmas Eve.  A sort of tradition, if you will."
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 29
Kudos: 163





	Some Children Can't Spell Santa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lostangelkira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostangelkira/gifts).



> I keep seeing the prompt and going hmmm... so I decided to just get on with it.
> 
> Thank you to the wonder FluffyGlitterPantsDragon for help and advice.
> 
> Merry Christmas Lucifans!

Lucifer sat on the sofa at Chloe's apartment, rubbing her feet while she went over the most recent case report on her laptop. Trixie was already in bed, and they were enjoying the quiet of the evening. There were white fairy lights around the fireplace and tinsel hung from the ceiling.

"Detective," he said carefully.

She looked up and regarded him with her head tilted sideways. "That's a serious face. What is it?"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to stay over on Christmas Eve."

She swallowed and nodded slowly. "Okay. Can I ask why?"

"It's a rather delicate matter."

"Look, I know all the Christmas stuff might not be your thing for obvious reasons, but this is our first Christmas as a couple, and I'd really like to spend it with you."

"No, you misunderstand. I'm quite happy to join you on Christmas day. Greed, materialism, gluttony- there's plenty to enjoy about Christmas. No, it's just that I have a prior engagement for Christmas Eve. A sort of tradition, if you will."

"Don't tell me, you're also secretly Santa Claus," she joked. 

Lucifer opened his mouth to speak, but made a noise of hesitation instead. "Not… exactly."

"What does that even mean? Why are you being so cagey about this?"

"I'm worried that you might change your opinion about me if I tell you."

"Lucifer, how many times do I have to tell you, you can talk to me. After all the stuff I've dealt with so far, don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you, Detective, it's just… well, very personal."

"Lucifer." She closed her laptop, put it on the table, and shuffled closer to him. "Tell me."

He took her hands. "If I do, you have to promise never to tell another soul. Not even your daughter."

"It's that serious?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Then you have my word."

"Right." He took a deep breath and blew it out. "I get letters."

"What kind of letters?"

"The kind of letters that are hard to ignore."

"Is someone threatening you?" she frowned in concern.

"No, nothing like that. They're from children."

"You hate children."

"Passionately. But some of the letters… well, I'm not made of stone. They require a certain kind of answer. And I haven't been able to keep up with them the last few years, what with cutting off my wings, and Amenadiel losing his powers, it just hasn't been possible to do it all in one night. But now we're both back to our former selves, I think it might be a good chance to carry on with the tradition."

"Has Amenadiel been getting letters too? Is this some kind of Christmas angel thing?"

"No, he just had a habit of slowing down time when he came to drag me back to Hell. Luckily, I can fly much faster than him, which means I can usually fit in enough deliveries before he catches up with me."

"Deliveries. To children. On Christmas Eve."

He sighed heavily. "I know how it looks. But some children can't spell Santa. They get the letters mixed up. Which is fine when there's an adult to help correct them, but if the parent is absent, or neglectful, or simply working all hours just to make ends meet, then the child writes their letter on their own, in secret."

He went quiet for a minute, and Chloe recognised the look he gets when he's struggling with too many raw emotions.

"There's more every year. I don't know how they end up with me, but they find their way. Might be the magic of Christmas. More likely Dad's idea of a joke."

Chloe held up a finger. "Let me get this straight. Every year, on Christmas eve, you'd escape from Hell long enough to fly all around the world delivering presents to disadvantaged and dyslexic children who can't tell the difference between Santa and Satan?"

"Well, not _all_ around the world. The names only tend to get confused in English. There's less of an overlap in other languages. And until recently the Brits still referred to him as Father Christmas, so it's mostly just over here."

She grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him soundly. He looked completely baffled when she pulled away. 

"You're incredible."

"It really doesn't bother you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know why you think it would."

"Eternally raging insecurities. The worst part is, I still need to figure out how to ask Amenadiel about it. Now that I've officially abdicated he has no need to chase me anymore. Which means I'm going to have to let him in on the secret, and he'll be completely insufferable about it."

She tapped his cheek. "You'll be fine, love."

***

Amenadiel stared at his brother, a wide smile slowly spreading across his face. "That's it. That's what you've been doing when I was chasing you all across the continent for the last hundred years?"

"Oh, here we go. Go on, Captain Smug, make your jokes. Have you got a red, floppy hat to fling in my direction?"

"As much as the mental image may be tempting, I'm just so proud of you right now, Luci."

"Somehow that's worse. But I think I can deal with it. If it means you're in."

"You're doing a very good thing. Of course I'll help."

"Thank you. It might involve a few trips back and forth. Unfortunately I don't have any spatial anomaly powers and the sack can get rather cumbersome once I'm in the air."

"We get Santa sacks?" Amenadiel seemed even more delighted at the idea.

"No, we get Satan sacks. There's a significant difference. And don't you dare put on a costume. If the children write to me, they get me, not some jolly, bearded bastard."

Amenadiel sobered. "This is important to you, isn't it?"

"Damn right it is. I wouldn't be asking you otherwise, would I?"

"No, I don't suppose you would. But I can't help wondering why."

Lucifer went over to his desk, took out a battered scrap of paper and handed it to him.

"What's this?"

"The very first one. A hundred and fourteen years ago. Took me a bit to decipher the random assortment of letters. When I worked out what it was, I went to see him and scare him into learning how to spell. But there was something odd about him. He behaved like one of our long-term residents- quiet, withdrawn, jumping at shadows. He was so very alone. So I asked him about the letter, and of course he told me what he desired. A simple thing that I could grant easily. So I did."

"Because granting desires is what you do."

"Exactly. And for a while, it made me feel better. This one," he pulled another letter out of his breast pocket, "is my latest. And with your help I can make sure she gets exactly what she desires."

Amenadiel looked from one letter to the other and smiled. "Need any help wrapping stuff up?"

***

When Amenadiel turned up at the Penthouse on Christmas Eve, there were several man-sized sacks on the floor near the balcony. "How many of these letters are there?" He asked incredulously. 

"A few hundred. It's a fairly specific spelling error, but there seem to be more every year."

"And you bought all these with your own money? On your own time?"

"I'll admit it's kept me busy of late. Luckily I can get a lot of it delivered."

"How do the letters get to you?"

"I have no idea. They just turn up in the mail. Look, are you going to ask stupid questions all night, or shall we get going? We've got a lot of ground to cover."

"Sure. Oh, I got you something." He threw it quickly at Lucifer who caught it by reflex.

"Why am I holding a pair of plastic horns?"

"Just in case anyone sees you. So you don't get mistaken for the bearded guy. I know Charlie likes your other face, but it might scare some kids."

He slapped them down on the bar. "No one is going to see me. And we'll be going too fast, they'll probably fall off mid-flight."

***

They started locally and gradually circled further afield. Lucifer had a list of addresses, and had a route memorised so that he didn't miss anyone. His ability to unlock doors proved useful, and the fact that they were moving outside of time meant that they weren't detected by any alarms. The gifts were dropped into stockings and left under trees, and in cases where there were no stockings or trees to be found, just left beside the child's pillow.

It was hard work, but there was an element of fun in sneaking in undetected, in the rebellion of leaving inexplicable gifts. It was also strangely wonderful to be flying with company again.

When the first sacks were empty they flew back to the penthouse to pick up the next. Lucifer went straight to the bar to fix himself a drink, but of course it refused to pour. He sighed and said they should press on.

The distances were vast. Although they couldn't exactly teleport, they could pop down to Hell from one city and come back up in another. Even so, there was a lot of ground to cover, and the trips below took effort.

When they got home to pick up the last sacks, Amenadiel dropped down on the sofa and sighed.

"Come on, brother. Final trip. We can do this."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one using your power to hold back time."

"Does Heaven's strongest warrior need a minute?" Lucifer said with a patronising tone.

Amenadiel glared but stood up regardless. "If I sleep through Christmas, I'm telling Linda it's your fault."

***

When all the presents were delivered they did one more bounce through Hell and back home. Amenadiel let time resume its usual flow with an audible sigh of relief. Lucifer poured them both a stiff drink. He smiled as they touched glasses. "Thank you for your assistance, brother. Credit where it's due, I could never have done it without you."

"Thank you for asking. You've done a good thing tonight, Lucifer. I'm proud of you." He knocked back the drink. "But if you don't mind, I'm going home. I need sleep. You should get some too."

Lucifer gazed over at his bed. It looked far too empty. "Not quite yet. There's still one more delivery to make."

He unlocked the safe, took out two small packages, and stepped out onto the balcony.

***

Chloe stirred on the sofa as he tucked the gifts under her tree. "Hmm? I thought you weren't coming?"

"Job's done, but my place looked lonely. Thought I'd crawl into bed with you. What are you still doing up?"

"It's only a little after midnight. C'mere, you look exhausted."

"I am exhausted. It feels much later for me."

She got up and took his hands, pulling him towards the stairs. "Let's get you to bed then."

It was obvious how tired he was when his fingers fumbled on his shirt buttons, so she helped him get undressed and then tucked him in. He didn't even complain when she changed into her pyjamas. He stayed awake just long enough to wrap an arm around her and then fell fast asleep.

***

Lucifer woke up to a soft kiss on his forehead. 

"Wake up, Satan Claus. Merry Christmas."

He blinked and found Chloe sitting on the bed beside him, wrapped in a fuzzy dressing gown. "I smell breakfast. What time is it?"

"Nine o'clock. Ish. This is the longest I've ever seen you sleep in."

He sat up, still feeling groggy. "Coffee. I'm going to need lots of coffee."

"Already brewing. Just put some pants on, Trixie's already up and bouncing around excitedly. But you better hurry because there's only so long I can keep her away from the presents."

He watched her go and then pulled his trousers back on. He came downstairs with a fleece blanket held around his shoulders and his hair in complete disarray. He only just remembered to brace himself before the not-so-small child collided into him with one of her patented hug attacks. He patted her messy hair. At least she was less sticky these days.

"Merry Christmas, Lucifer," she said with a grin, running off to grab something from under the tree. It was large and soft and wrapped in gold paper. She held it out expectantly. 

"What, is this for me?" 

"Mm-hm. And you can't blame Mom because I chose it myself."

"Well, this is unexpected."

"I think Dan helped her buy it," Chloe added, putting a mug of coffee on the counter for him. "You should open it."

Lucifer perched on a stool, adjusted his makeshift robe, and took a sip of coffee before proceeding. Under the shiny paper he found a pile of red, velvety fabric. His eyes went straight back to Chloe. "You promised you wouldn't tell!"

"I didn't say anything," she assured him. "What is it?"

"Check out the hood," Trixie said excitedly.

Lucifer pulled it out of the paper and realised it wasn't a Santa suit at all, but a plush bathrobe. And there were red horns on the hood. The relief that his secret was safe was enough to wash away any indignation about the horns and… yes, there was also a bloody tail. But Trixie was grinning and Chloe was quietly giggling into her hands, so he dropped the blanket and slipped on the robe and pulled up the hood. 

For some reason, Chloe stopped giggling and her pupils went very wide. "It suits you."

"Thank you very much, urchin, for making me look completely ridiculous. It is warm and comfortable though," he added happily. "So, who wants breakfast?"

"I already had chocolate cake," Trixie admitted.

"Detective?"

"What, it's Christmas. It's a family tradition."

"Well, I have to say I whole heartedly approve. Did you save any for me?"

"Don't worry there's plenty. But I've also made bacon and eggy bread if you want some of that too."

"You're spoiling me today. Not that I'm complaining, I worked up quite the appetite after last night."

Trixie groaned and wandered off.

"You've earned it," Chloe said as she passed him the plates. "Now eat up before it gets cold."

After a hearty breakfast and two cups of coffee Lucifer felt much more revived. They joined Trixie in the living room where she was sketching in a brand new art book. There were still more presents under the tree, and Chloe started handing them out.

Lucifer looked down at the pile of half a dozen in front of him. "Why have I got so many?" he asked in confusion. 

"Because, people care about you. Check the labels," Chloe said. 

The labels informed him that they were from Linda, Ella, Amenadiel, Dan and even Maze. Not forgetting the Detective, of course. He looked at Trixie, who sat by her pile with utmost restraint, the smallest bounce giving away her excitement. "So, what's the ritual here? Do we wait for some kind of starting pistol and then paper flies everywhere?"

"No, we take turns. Trixie first, then you, then me."

"All right. Let's get started, shall we, Trix?"

She giggled. "You're almost as excited as I am."

"I've never had this many presents for Christmas before. I've never had Christmas like this before."

"I better hurry up then. And I already know where to start." She held up the small, red package Lucifer had put under the tree the night before. Inside was a black, wooden box, glossy and twinkling with subtle glitter. "It's beautiful."

"You haven't got to the best bit yet. Look inside."

When she opened the lid, she squealed. "You got tickets! I thought they were all sold out! How did you know?"

"It's my job to know. Besides, your room isn't sound proof and you listen to their music all the time. There's one condition though."

Trixie clutched the tickets to her chest. "Anything."

"Careful, monkey, it's not wise to give the Devil a blank cheque."

"Detective, I would never take advantage of your spawn."

"You totally would. You just wouldn't see it that way. If she's gonna grow up with you in her life, she needs to learn to watch what she promises you, before one of you ends up in trouble."

"Okay, I retract my anything. What's the deal?"

"You have to take Maze with you. She's almost as passionate about them as you."

"Of course! Going to a concert with Maze is gonna be so awesome! Lucifer, it's perfect, thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

He got another hug in her rush of gratitude, and this time he squeezed back. She was just one child, but she reminded him of all the other children who would wake up this morning to find their wishes granted, and he accepted her appreciation on behalf of all of them.

She sat back and elbowed his side. "Your turn. Open something."

"Well, they say you should save the best for last, but I'm too intrigued for that. I want to open this one first." It was Chloe's gift he pulled from the pile.

Chloe smiled. "I just hope you like it. Seeing as you already have, like, everything."

"I have you," he replied. 

She rolled her eyes and hid her face on his arm. "Just open it."

Inside a high quality gift box was a round, glass paperweight. A single white feather was suspended inside, and it was engraved around the edge with the word _Incredible._

"It's beautiful," he said quietly. "Hold on, that's not one of mine, is it?"

"No," she laughed. "It was in there when I bought it. I got it engraved though."

He put an arm around her and kissed her head. "I love it, thank you."

"Mom, it's your turn. I wanna see what Lucifer got you."

"Me too," Chloe said. She pulled off the paper to find an ornate, silver box. "It's lovely."

"Yours has something inside too."

She tried to open it, but nothing happened. "I think it's stuck."

He grinned. "No, that's part of the fun. It's a puzzle box. Because you like solving things."

"I do, but I also want to know what's inside."

"Well, you better solve it, then."

She played with it for several minutes until Trixie got fed up of waiting and resumed the present opening ritual. Chloe put the box aside but her eyes kept getting drawn towards it. She kept it nearby for the rest of the day, tinkering with it whenever she had the opportunity. 

They all got properly dressed before Dan joined them for lunch. When they had cleared the table they all sat down for a game of _Settlers,_ which Chloe lost by the largest margin ever because she wasn't paying enough attention. Lucifer and Dan played very competitively, and completely underestimated Trixie who kept innocently bartering her way to victory.

They all pitched in to help with dinner and enjoyed an immense feast that left them very full and sleepy. Lucifer, still tired from the night before, laid down on the sofa and napped while Dan and Trixie battled at _Uno_ and Chloe curled up in an armchair to solve her puzzle box.

He was startled awake by a surprised shriek. She crawled over to him on her knees, the open box in hand, and leaned on his chest. "Lucifer. Talk to me."

"That one _is_ one of mine." 

She held up the single white feather. "It looks like it's glowing," she said, her voice filled with awe.

"That's probably just because you went overboard with the fairy lights," he smiled. "Is it okay?" 

"Lucifer, it's so much better than okay. It's a part of you. I'll treasure it always." She leant forward and kissed him tenderly.

Dan gave them a few moments and cleared his throat. "Right. If you guys can physically separate, this game is much more fun with four than with two."

"Sure," Chloe said, putting the feather away and closing the box carefully. "I need to make up for my uselessness earlier."

All in all, it was one of the best days Lucifer had ever had. He felt accepted, and part of something. For want of a better word, he felt blessed. And much as he enjoyed getting presents, he preferred the feeling he got from giving them better. Even Dan had seemed pleased with the rose quartz trinket he gave him, knowing its significance. 

As he finished the day in Chloe's arms, close and naked and satisfied, he inhaled the scent of her hair and considered. The letters had to get him somehow, and divine interference was not completely out of the question. But even if it was a bad joke on Dad's part, Lucifer was still glad they had found their way to him. He had spent far too long punishing the guilty, and that one night, every few thousand years of Hell-time, gave him a chance to be something else. Something better. Because the gifts that he had given weren't just simple tokens, they were things that mattered. He was showing the children that their voice had been heard. He had seen too much of himself in that first child, so lost and alone, that he had granted his desire without any thought of a price tag. 

And it had felt so _good._

Besides, granting desires was what he did best.

He just had to work out a better way to carry them for next year.


End file.
